When Halloween Isn’t a Treat: What the Spooky Season Can Stir Up

The fake cobwebs go up in September now. By mid-October there’s a skeleton on the porch, a fog machine in the yard, and a pile of candy in the break room. For plenty of people, this is the best stretch of the year.

For others, it’s a season to get through.

Halloween is built around things designed to unsettle us: fear, masks, darkness, death, and surprise. Most of us experience that as play. But for someone carrying trauma, grief, sensory sensitivities, or a nervous system already under strain, the line between “fun scary” and real scary can disappear fast.

And because Halloween doesn’t get talked about as a difficult holiday in the same way Thanksgiving or December holidays do, people who struggle with it can feel strange for struggling at all.

They shouldn’t. Here’s why this time of year can hit hard, and what can help.

When the scare lands too close to home

Trauma specialist and psychiatrist Frank Anderson discusses how Halloween can be particularly difficult for people with PTSD. Being deliberately frightened can trigger panic, heightened anxiety, startle responses, and traumatic memories. For survivors of complex or relational trauma, someone presenting as something they’re not can also bring up feelings of deception.

It’s not only the costumes. A steady stream of strangers knocking on the door can be activating too. One night a year, we invite unknown people in disguise to come to our homes after dark. For someone whose sense of safety was violated at their own front door, it can feel very different.

Interestingly, some trauma survivors lean into haunted houses and horror movies as a way to feel mastery over something that once felt out of control. There’s no single right response. Anderson’s advice is to stay in control of how much scary or startling material you’re exposed to. That might mean skipping the haunted maze. It might mean going with an exit plan and a friend who knows why you might need it.

Grief doesn’t take the night off

For people who are grieving, Halloween can feel especially difficult. The holiday turns death into decoration: skulls on lawns, tombstones in the grocery store, skeletons hanging from trees.

For parents who have lost a child, the reminders can be particularly painful. What’s Your Grief discusses how Halloween can bring up memories of the person who died, as well as the traditions and experiences that won’t happen with them.

And Halloween can be the beginning of a difficult stretch of holidays for some people who are grieving. The Child Mind Institute recommends planning ahead, acknowledging difficult emotions, and giving families permission to change traditions or create new ones after a death.

Skipping the holiday is allowed. So is doing a quieter version or creating a new ritual that honors the person who’s missing.

Too loud, too bright, too much

For autistic kids and adults, and for anyone with sensory processing differences, Halloween can bring a lot of stimulation at once. Scratchy costume fabric, flashing decorations, and a doorbell that rings over and over can contribute to sensory overload. Add a disrupted routine, darkness, and masks that hide faces people rely on to read a situation, and October 31 can become overwhelming.

Small changes can help. Heading out before dark and bringing headphones or earplugs can reduce stimulation. Some families use a blue bucket to signal that their child is autistic and may not say “trick or treat,” though not every neighborhood knows what it means, so a small communication card can be a useful backup. Daytime and sensory-friendly events can also offer another way to participate.

Candy everywhere, for weeks

If you’re in recovery from an eating disorder, Halloween isn’t one night. The candy shows up for weeks: school parties, office bowls, trick-or-treat bags, and leftovers sitting on the counter. ANAD notes that costume shopping, parties, candy, and other Halloween activities can create additional challenges during eating disorder recovery.

ANAD also recommends having a recovery action plan for situations that may bring up stress, anxiety, or urges to binge. That might mean thinking ahead about parties, identifying people who can support you, and deciding what kind of support would be helpful.

Costume shopping can be difficult too. For some people in recovery, navigating clothing and body image concerns can add another layer of stress.

The light is leaving

There’s a quieter layer under all of this. Halloween lands as the days get noticeably shorter, and this year the clocks fall back the very next morning.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of seasonal affective disorder typically begin in late fall or early winter and ease up in spring and summer. Winter-pattern SAD can involve changes in sleep, appetite, energy, and social activity.

So if someone seems withdrawn or out of sorts as fall turns to winter, there may be more going on than a bad week or a dislike of Halloween. For someone with a history of seasonal depression, this time of year can be an important point to notice changes and plan for support.

For the helpers

If you work in mental health, October can have a way of getting heavier. Clients start talking about the holidays with a little more dread in their voice. The calendar fills with sessions that feel harder than they did in August. And the things that come up in those sessions aren’t always about Halloween itself.

Here’s the part that gets talked about less: you can find this season hard too. Therapists grieve. Counselors and social workers have their own histories, their own families, and their own reasons certain times of year can feel complicated. Working in mental health doesn’t make you immune to any of that.

So while you’re checking in with clients, check in with yourself too. Skip the party if you need to. Make plans with people who make you feel good. Give yourself a quieter Halloween if that’s what you need, or don’t celebrate it at all.

Taking care of yourself is part of the job. 

If Halloween is hard for you

You don’t have to love it. You don’t have to explain why you’re turning off the porch light at 7, leaving the party early, or passing on the haunted hayride. Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you a buzzkill.

And if this season is bringing up more than you can carry on your own, reach out to a therapist, a trusted person, or call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time.

Halloween can be fun. It can also be hard. Most years, for most people, it’s a bit of both.

Sources

• Psychology Today, Halloween Trauma Triggers. Psychology Today
• Psychiatric Times, Facing Fears: Patients With Past Trauma Can Still Enjoy Halloween. Psychiatric Times
• What’s Your Grief, Grief at Halloween. What’s Your Grief
• Child Mind Institute, How to Handle Holidays After a Death in the Family. Child Mind Institute
• Society for the Protection and Care of Children, Helping Kids Cope with Grief and Loss During the Holiday Season. SPCC
• Early Autism Services, Halloween Autism Guide. Early Autism Services
• ANAD, Trigger-or-Treat: Halloween in Recovery. ANAD
• Eating Disorder Solutions, Halloween Brings Its Own Challenges in Eating Disorder Recovery. Eating Disorder Solutions
• Empowering You, Navigating Halloween in Eating Disorder Recovery. Empowering You
• National Institute of Mental Health, Seasonal Affective Disorder. NIMH
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Lifeline

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